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Gadgets - Mechanical Or Maniacal Devices?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Gadgets are a part of progress and I'm trying to progress too. If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we stop clocks from blinking 12:00 after power failures?
Does Any Port In A Storm Include Airports?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
No weapons in carry-on luggage - fine; but I've had bruises on my shins that prove wheeled luggage is a weapon. I think wheeled luggage should have directional signals and break lights or airport police should give tickets for moving violations.
Can People Be Winterized?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
I'm cold challenged. I used to live in New England. Every winter I dreaded the snow and ice and freezing wind chill factors. I don't understand why people stay there in the winter, but I may have figured out why the Smurfs are blue.
Cartooning For Dummies...and Very Smart People
By :
Rick London..
"They" say you have to be funny and artistic to be a cartoonist. I beg to differ.
The Zen Of Niche
By :
Rick London..
When I was in college (the first time around), I was always told to find a niche and keep it simple. Little did I know at the time, I was learning a sound business principle. After all, there is nothing simple about Ebay, Yahoo, or Google.
What Makes The World Go Around?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Judging by the line of cars at Starbuck's drive-in window, coffee makes the world go around. Sometimes the line of cars causes traffic problems, but that doesn't seem to bring the police around. Oh - no donuts.
Can Errands Be Walked?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
I always have errands to do and there seems to be more every week. Maybe I've read too many books by Stephen King, but I wouldn't be surprised if my errands grew long ears and cotton-ball tails.
Do You Watch Out For What's In?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Because my grandmother wanted to give me what was in style, she gave me what girls in her neighborhood wore. When my grandmother's eyesight started to fail, she went to Plan B. She asked me what I wanted. That's always in fashion.
Is Running Late Exercise?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
If the movie "Snow White" were made today, the seven dwarfs wouldn't sing "Whistle While You Work". Instead, Grumpy would have a solo. He'd sing, "Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think".
Are We Programmed More Than TV?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
When we're driving and see a red light, we're programmed to stop. Those who don't are programmed to look in their rear-view mirrors for at least twenty seconds.
Steven Wright - The Sublime Comedian
By :
Aazdak Alisimo
If you have seen one comedian, you have often seen many since they tend to borrow the same jokes from each other. When it comes to the great Steven Wright, however, everything is unique, bizarre and utterly hilarious.
Is Nostalgia A Sugar-Coated Memory?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Last fall my husband and I took a trip back East. The tress were glowing in shades of yellow, orange and red. As a transplanted New Englander, I started to get nostalgic. Then I heard John say a four-letter word - rake.
Are You Any Wiser?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
I thought getting wiser was one of the perks of getting older.
Can You Burn Calories Exercising Your Judgment?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Exercise should be part of our daily routine. It increases our strength, endurance and flexibility; but doesn't getting out of bed in the morning do that?
Who Put Hospital In Hospitality?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Five dollars for an aspirin. Five thousand dollars for a room. The cost of hospital care is enough to make you sick.
Living Humour: Squeezing the Juice from Life
By :
Rammy Johnson
Get your foot smack down into loony behaviour. Think this means what others do? Wrong. Come and read how irrational you behave.
Are You Listed?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
I've reached the age where lists are a necessity. If I don't write things down, I forget them. Of course, this leads to another problem - remembering where I put the lists.
Is It Advertising Or Adverteasing?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
If it says hardware on a sign, I know tools are sold there. I have no idea what's sold at West Coast Custom. Aren't signs meant to attract customers? If so, some signs needs "custom-er-izing".
15 Sayings of His Eminence - Homer Simpson
By :
Aazdak Alisimo
There is little doubt that the sayings of Homer Simpson have become food for fodder and deep thought in today's pop culture. I am not sure what that says about us, but a religion based on his weekly humor can't be far off. Here are a few choice samples:
Would You Bet Everyone Gambles?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
On the East Coast weather is a gamble. Do you take an umbrella, wear boots or buy snow tires? Now I live on the West Coast - where weather is no sweat-er.
Isn't Dining Out In?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Because of hectic schedules, more people eat out; but because of the tight economy, fewer people dine out. What's the difference? About twenty dollars per person.
Is It The Holidze Again?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Tis the season to be jolly - tree trimmed, presents wrapped, meal planned and carol singing. Stores have their decorations up before Halloween. Next year I should start feeling jolly the day after Labor Day.
Aren't There Too Many I's In Criticism?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Abraham Lincoln said we have the right to criticize if we have the heart to help. Who could criticize that?
Have You Burned Any Travelogs?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
There are lots of places to see and lots of ways to travel, but my grandmother thought we should see America first. Then we'd see why people from other countries come here.
Are You Stressed By Stress?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
My grandmother had a simple solution for stress. Relax, let go of whatever is bothering you - and don't pick it up again!
Are They Shopping Malls Or Mauls?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
I'm an enclosed mall shopper. For me it's a jacket I don't have to wear and an umbrella I don't have to carry. It keeps me warm and dry - and it keeps me shopping.
Is Creativity Catching
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Creative people are given creative license to change facts. Politicians must think they have creative license too.
De-Stress During Christmas
By :
Aazdak Alisimo
The Christmas holiday is almost upon us. Yep, already! On the good side, this means shopping till you drop, hooking up with family and Christmas parties galore. On the bad side, this also means shopping till you drop, hooking up with family and parties galore!
Gift Certificates For Marriage Counseling?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Marriage counseling gets a bad rap because people are embarrassed to talk about it. Maybe a PR tweak would help. Maybe it could be called the gift that keeps on giving.
Is Life A Party Waiting To Happen?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
I must be different. When I invite people to a party from 5pm to 7pm, I expect them to arrive at 5pm and leave at 7pm. Of course, if they don't leave at 7pm, I don't mind having help cleaning up.
Yes Virginia, There is an Allegorical, Metaphorical, and Culturally Neutered Santa Claus
By :
Jack Deal
Santa has adapted well to the 21st Century. Those that don't believe he exists don't even wish he did. How sad.
Who Let The InfluenzaOut?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
It's that time of year again. It's the time when I find myself wishing flu was the past tense of fly.
I'd Rather Be an Ugly Mexican than an Unhappy, Stupid, Silly Argentinean
By :
Jack Deal
Argentine reporter Jorge Lafauci was recorded during a TV show saying that Mexicans are the ugliest and the only pretty ones are on TV. Lafauci upholds a longstanding tradition of Argentines making silly, stupid statments.
Bathroom Safety Tips Made Easy
By :
dror klar
Tips to make the most dangerous room in your home a lot safer.
Intelligent Design and Natural Intelligence Are Two Peas in the Same Old Pod
By :
Jack Deal
If it can't be tested and exists only on faith it is not science. Why not say 'it's not science' and move on?
Who Put The Place In Placebo?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
My grandmother's jewelry box has a place for every kind of jewelry imaginable. It even has secret compartments. Because I'm jewelry-challenged, however, I have it filled with memories.
Does Remodeling Qualify As Housework?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Because married couples are newlyweds for a year, my husband and I must be "newlyhomeowners". We've been remodeling our new house for a year.
Did Anyone See Where My Youth Went?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
I've looked in the mirror and I've decided I haven't lost my youth. It just looks different - wrinkled.
Boycott Chinese and Buy Mexican
By :
Jack Deal
Better to buy from friends and neighbors than from those that poison us and even their own.
Did You Get The Word?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
"Notions" used to be small, useful things - like needles and threads - sold in stores. Now notions are just general ideas - which gives you a notion what's happening to words.
Laugh Till You Cry
By :
Aazdak Alisimo
They say life tends to balance out, but some days can really seem to take the wind out of your sails. If you find yourself stressed out or taking life way to seriously, a good laugh can make all the difference so read on my friend.
Does The Shoe Fit?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
When I was a little girl, I loved to play dress-up in my mother's high heels. I still love to wear high heels. They lift my spirits.
Who Put The "Ow" In Wedding Vow?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
I think "til death do us part" should be taken out of the wedding vows. The average marriage lasts only twenty-four years.
Shouldn't There Be A "C" In Glasses?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
I buy glasses at drug stores. I buy them at supermarkets, bookstores, car washes and flea markets. No matter which glasses I wear, I can't see spending money on designer glasses.
UCSC Treesitting Protesters Barking Up Some Really, Really Big Redwood Trees
By :
Jack Deal
If your son or daughter were protesting 150 up on redwood tree limb should you demand they transfer to Texas A&M?
2008 Election Proving Once Again the USA is the Greatest Nation in the Entire Universe
By :
Jack Deal
Once again we prove our advanced democratic system is aces and helps us keep our status as the best nation in the Universe.
How Your Collective Thinking is Destroying Your Mind, Career, Personal Life and Hippocampus
By :
Jack Deal
Those that think like sheep become sheep.
Whatever Happened To...?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Whatever happened to commercials? Yes, I miss them. TiVo eliminates the built-in time to talk about programs.
Are Doors Open For Discussion?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
When we moved into our new home, I told my family I was open to suggestions for a new, front door. Does that qualify as an open-door policy?
The Year The Rats Came
By :
Sometime during my sixth grade year, the rats came. We had a rat infestation. An unhealthy rat plague! I recall this as one of the most frustrating years of my mother's and my life.
Shouldn't Meditation Be Spelled MMMMMeditation?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
I think I figured out what causes road rage in LA. When people are driving, they can't close their eyes and meditate.
Where Does the Expression "Sleep Tight" Come From?
By :
Sherry Harris
We have all heard the old saying of "sleep tight don't let the bed bugs bite". Since this is incredibly gross, let's just focus on the first part. Tight is a word that can be used to mean so many things in slang. But even with the language changes over the years, sleep tight is still a good wish of sorts.
Do Sayings Go Without Saying?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Although I don't know where the expression "take you to the cleaners" comes from, I know it means to fleece someone - which makes sense. If you wash fleece it will shrink. It should be taken to the cleaners.
There is no Security with Shaking Ground, Mad Shoplifters and Thieving Families
By :
Jack Deal
We can never totally isolate ourselves from evil,risk, threat and bad things in general. Rather than worry about it we should get out and about and enjoy life and not be obsessed with creating a no risk environment. Besides, there is no such animal.
Parents Wanted - No Experience Required?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Parents with children under age sixteen are lucky. Their children can't drive them crazy. In fact, their children don't have licenses to drive them anywhere. Parents, however, don't have licenses to be parents of children any age.
Does A Face-Lift Make You Taller?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
If lots of face-lifts are free, looking up at the night sky to watch a falling star must qualify as a free face-lift.
What's The Cost Of Beauty?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
New beauty products are being tested every day, but how? I've never seen a guinea pig or a rat with wrinkles.
Lessons in Life We Can Learn from Ugly Women with Big Tattoos
By :
Jack Deal
It's true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder but sometimes deflecting focus away from ugliness actually makes one relatively prettier.
What Makes A Good Day Better?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Every day above ground is a good day. Having a siren-blaring, police car speed past you when you realize you're driving over the speed limit makes a good day better.
Welcome to California National Park!
By :
Jack Deal
When California runs out of water, we can make it into one heck of a national park. Don't forget to bring your water bottles...
Can Confusion Be Confuted?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
One of the things that confuses me is the word "con". How can a word that means swindle also mean to study carefully?
After Forty Are Birthday Cards Junk Mail?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
All I had to do to stop calls from telemarketers was make a phone call. Who can I call to stop junk mail?
Is Dieting A Weighty Problem?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Every day, all over the world, people are losing weight. Am I the only one who wants to know where the weight goes?
Is Being Taken For Granted Taken For Granted?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
If you see me talking to my car, I'm actually thanking it. I don't want to take my car for granted because it takes me wherever I want to go.
Don't You Wish Wishes Came True?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
When I was a little girl, my grandmother would ask me what I'd wish for if I had three wishes. Unfortunately, Grandmother wouldn't let me wish for more wishes.
What's Good Husband Material?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Although I think I know what good husband material is, I'm not an expert on the subject. After all, I've had only one husband.
Is Time Management Manageable?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
If time could be managed, it could be slowed down. It can't be, so doesn't that prove it can't be managed?
Looking Back At The Awesome 80's
By :
Matthew W. Grant
This article takes you back to all the memories of your favorite decade. You'll be trying to find your hair gel any minute!
Go Ahead, I Dare Ya! Google My Name!
By :
Jack Deal
When I was a kid we used to dare, double dare and then double dog dare. Nobody googled.
My Breast Sizes are Just Fine for Now, Thank You and Besides I'm a Man
By :
Jack Deal
Marketers are pure scum. Here is an instance of snake oil sleazebags trying to capitalize on citizen's patriotism.
Does It Have To Be Picture Perfect?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Some say a picture is worth a thousand words. Wrong! When I look at a picture of me, I can't think of a thousand expletives.
Do You Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
They say it's better to give than to receive - but it's definitely not easier - unless you have a Cousin Walter you have to thank for a lima bean green, turtle-shaped sun dial that glows in the dark.
TIVO Or Not TIVO?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Because it's hard for me to sit still to watch TV, I try to anchor myself by reading - sometimes reading and eating - at the same time. I don't watch TV. I experience it.
How Loneliness, Faulty Logic and Convenience Destroyed Three Super Brains
By :
Jack Deal
Even the smartest among us can veer off path and end up going down a path of utter stupidity.
"Guest" Who's Coming To Dinner?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
When we lived in New Jersey, our guest towels looked like new. When we moved to Southern California, they became threadbare from overuse. So did the replacements. Now the guest towels in the powder room are made of paper.
Is Writing About Skin A Rash Decision?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Some say a thing of beauty is a joy forever. Not always. Skin isn't beautiful forever. Like youth, it's wasted on the young
What Happened To Penny Candy?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
I love to save money, but wanting to save money is a state of mind. Sometimes I think my husband and sons have moved to a different state.
How Many Points For A Goal?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
My grandmother believed in goals - short term and long term - for herself and for her family and friends. The only person I've known who was more goal-oriented than my grandmother was my son's soccer coach.
You May Be In Love If
By :
One of the most common human experiences that two or more (depending on how ambitious you are) people can share is love. But, it is not always easy to tell if you are in like, lust or full blown, forever loving. With that in mind, I have created this list of signs that you may be crazy in love!
Is It All In The Name?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
The name you give your child is a gift. I understand that. But if you name your child after someone, is the name a hand-me-down?
Is There A Model For Remodeling?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
The worst part of remodeling are the surprises. It can't be finished that soon, it's going to cost more, the manufacturer doesn't make it anymore. It's like having unexpected visits from my mother-in-law every few days.
Who Put The Word Age In Marriage?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
If my husband and I were attracted to each other because we're opposites, what happens if we change. Is our marriage in danger because John does some of the cooking now?
Are Cat People Dog-Tired?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Some people are cat people, some are dog people and some are animal people. It's like ice cream. Some people like chocolate, some like vanilla and others like spumoni. It's what make the world go...ellipsed.
Trivia For Beginners
By :
I admit it .. I LIKE trivia, tho it serves no purpose for me since I can never remember any to bring up in conversation. But still, it is fun, so I have created this list of amazing trivia that I found to be absolutely riveting.
Youth Is Wasted On The Young
By :
Growing old does have one benefit ... experience. So, I am continuing here to share my vast pool of knowledge. Of course my girlfriend can not resist telling me I need to clean the pool, but heres the list anyway.
Are Crystal Balls Really Crystal?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Crystal balls appeal to our curiosity about what's going to happen next. We all have crystal balls, but they're called experience, intuition and knowledge.
What Are Those Three, Little Words?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
When someone says they want to have a few words with you, a few can be too many. I think most things can be said with just three, little words.
How Much Money Is In Your Pocketbook?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
If I spent a thousand dollars on a couch, I'd be putting it in the living room. If I spent it on a makeover, I'd be putting on better face. If I spent it on a political candidate, I'd be putting it where my mouth is.
Are We Speaking The Same Language?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
My grandmother might have described something as the cat's meow. My mother might have said the same thing was cool. I'd probably say neat and my sons would say rad, but we're all speaking the same language.
How Much Of Life Is A Scam?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
If someone tried to sell me the Brooklyn Bridge, that would be a scam. When I ask my child what he's doing in his room and he says, "Nothing", that's a scam too.
Are You A Fair-Weather Friend?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
If a fair weather friend is someone who feels friendlier when it's sunny and eighty degrees outside, that's me.
Unschooling is Learning That Never Stops
By :
Lill Hawkins
When you use the Unschooling method of homeschooling, teachable moments can occur when you least expect them.
Do You Have Time For Time Management?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
I question the concept of time management. I can't stop time. I can't even slow it down. So how am I meant to manage it?
Have You Developed Personally?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
If you compare the personal development of a couple that has children with a couple that doesn't, you'll see that the parents'development is much less personal.
Here's To Your Health?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
If talking about improving our health were exercise, we'd all be healthier.
Do You Know The Reason?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
A parking ticket, a missed plane, a job layoff - if there's a reason for everything, what's the reason we don't always know the reason?
Do The Young Make Us Feel Old?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
When I see a bride and groom posing for pictures in front of a church, I'm tempted to tell them that there will be days when those pictures look out of focus. Then I tell myself to focus on my own marriage.
Is Eating Out Healthier For Mothers?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
The busier we get, the more we eat out. The more we eat out, the more we have to make healthy choices.
Were There Candles On The Table?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
If you are going to an upscale restaurant, you should have reservations. If you are taking small children to an upscale restaurant, you should have personal reservations.
Do You Walk The Walk?
By :
Knight Pierce Hirst
Walk-in closets, walk-on roles in television shows, walk off a sports injury - you can hide; but you can't get away from walking.
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